I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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