He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
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It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
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New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize