I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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