apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
