Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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