I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize