im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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