just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
What a dumb baby whore.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
