I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
