we have officially lost it.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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