Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
