Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
