Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
