So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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