to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
