Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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