Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize