ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
