That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
And then he peed in my hair
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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