So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
