Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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