Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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