So drunk its hurt
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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