the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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