My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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