Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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