i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
