Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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