8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
