I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
