She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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