I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just threw up on my dentist
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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