Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize