Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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