So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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