Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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