I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
