garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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