What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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