Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
