Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
