oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
