The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
