i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
