Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
