i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
