kristin has been a bad kristin
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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