Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.