i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer