I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
