all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
