Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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