so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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