I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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