how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize