5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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