I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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