Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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