you guys were way drunker than both of me
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
