Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
