yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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