At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
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I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
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The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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