Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
