Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
