its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
