Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
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He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
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Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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